The Struggle: Hollow Crest Wolf Pack Book 2 Page 7

  “Hey Lori,” Kannon called as he walked into the bedroom where I was folding laundry. “I think it would be a good idea to do meal prep ahead of time. That way we don’t have to work so hard to get dinner ready after cross country practice.”

  I grinned up at him. “That sounds fantastic.” I had quickly learned that Kannon was really the only one of us that could be relied on for delicious meals.

  “Come grocery shopping with me?” He asked with a warm smile.

  I hesitated. “We still have a lot to do here…” I looked around at the pieces of clothing scattered over the mattresses that we weren’t using for sleeping. My heart started pounding faster. I knew how I was feeling wasn’t rational. I went to school every day, going to the grocery store shouldn’t be that big of a deal. But the school did give me a sense of security. Mr. Reaven and Baracus couldn’t just walk into my school and come after me, but if I went into town…

  Kannon sat down on the edge of the bed with me. “Lori, I know things have been stressful, especially for you.” He searched my eyes and lowered his voice. “But you’re safe here, you’re safe with us.”

  I gave him a small smile in return. “It’s not that I don’t trust you guys. It’s just…” I struggled to find the right words to explain how I was feeling. I didn’t understand all of the emotions that were coursing through me, and I had no clue how to explain. So instead I opened up the pack bond to Kannon. Instead of sending him a clear message or image I just let him into the tangled web of my mind. Let him see for himself what a mess I was.

  “You’re afraid,” he said softly.

  I let out a breath of air that I didn’t realize I had been holding. “Yeah, I guess so.” Kannon looked disappointed with my confession so I reached out for his hand. “I’m afraid that something is going to happen to us. Something that will destroy what we’re building here.” I looked down at the bed. “This is the first time in my life that I feel hopeful that I can have something good.”

  Kannon nodded. “We have something good here. And all of us will fight to protect that. To protect you.”

  “I know,” I said softly. “I’ve just spent so much of my life being afraid.” My voice broke on the last word and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  Kannon pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around me. “How do you feel right now? When I’m holding you?”

  I closed my eyes and leaned into his warmth. “I feel safe,” I whispered. “Loved.” I tensed up, afraid that I had gone too far.

  Kannon gave me a kiss on the side of the head. “Whenever you’re afraid, think of this moment. Know that whatever happens, I will always be here for you. Whatever we go through, it’s only a matter of time before you are back in my arms. I won’t let anything keep me away from you.”

  Tears came to my eyes at his sentiment, but I took deep breaths to keep myself from crying. I relaxed into his arms and really absorbed everything about this moment so that I could bring it back to mind later. I felt his warm body against my back, his breath in my hair, his arms holding me tight. I focused on what I was feeling. I wanted to be able to remember the warm glow that Kannon gave me. The safety and security of knowing that he would never be far.

  “Thanks, Kannon,” I whispered. “You helped me more than you know.” I looked up at him to see him gazing at me with a soft look in his eyes. I suddenly became more aware of how his body pressed against mine and I knew the minute that his thoughts shifted along with mine.

  I shifted in Kannon’s arms so that I was facing him and he cupped my face in one hand. My heart rate sped up when his eyes flicked down to my lips and I knew this was the moment I had been hoping for and worrying about for so long. I closed my eyes and slid my hand around the back of his neck as our lips met. At first, it was just a tentative brush of his lips against mine, but when he saw that I wasn’t going to pull away he deepened the kiss.

  I opened my mouth eagerly to him and became lost in the sensation as our tongues met. Kannon pulled me up so that I was straddling his lap and I pressed my body up against his. My blood was pounding with excitement and nerves as our mouths explored each other. Kannon slid his hands up my thighs before pulling my hips into his. I tensed up when I felt his erection pressing against me. Suddenly, my blood wasn’t just heated from arousal, it was heated from panic as well. As much as I loved Kannon, this was the first time I had ever kissed a guy and I wasn’t ready to go beyond that just yet.

  Kannon felt the stiffness in my body and pulled away. “We’re moving too fast, aren’t we?”

  “Yeah,” I murmured, embarrassed that I was less of a woman than he might be used to.

  “Can I just hold you while we catch our breaths?” Kannon nudged me so that we lay on the bed facing each other. I was still embarrassed to meet his eyes, knowing that sex was probably the number one thing on the minds of guys his age. He didn’t seem upset that I had wanted to stop, he just seemed happy to be laying next to me. That’s when I felt my body relax again and felt silly for worrying so much. This was Kannon, not one of the guys from my pack that would have just taken what he wanted. I knew Kannon would respect me for any decision that I made.

  We stayed like that for a little while longer until Wyatt’s footsteps sounded on the stairs. He took in the view of the two of us pressed together surrounded by laundry in all different stages of being folded.

  “Lori and I were just talking about going to the grocery store,” Kannon told him, not pulling away from me.

  Wyatt’s eyes met mine, but I had no idea what he was thinking. “I was just kind of nervous,” I told him. “Because of the cameras?” I wasn’t sure that the guys still believed me about Baracus, so I didn’t want to mention that.

  Wyatt raised an eyebrow. “The lamia took care of your former pack. And I’m sure when they made the deal, your pack found out where you are.”

  I pulled away from Kannon to sit up. “I’m not sure that makes me feel better.”

  “You’re safe here,” Wyatt told me confidently.

  I sat up a little taller. Both of the guys were right, I was acting like a scared little pup, afraid to come out from under the bed. If we ran into Mr. Reaven, I would just ignore him. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing just how much he affected me. And Baracus? He was dead and gone, just a nightmare that haunted me. I couldn’t let my past keep holding me back from living in the present.

  “You’re right,” I told them. “I’m done hiding.”

  I could feel Kannon brighten up beside me and Wyatt gave me a slow smile. I turned to Kannon. “Let’s go.”

  I was still apprehensive, despite my newfound bravado. I was a little embarrassed to admit that I kept Kannon in sight at all times during our trip. I also kept an eye out for Mr. Reaven. As much as I wanted to put that entire ordeal behind me, I didn’t think that I was quite ready to run into him again. I wasn’t sure that I could pretend that nothing had happened between us. And I didn’t know if that was the right way to handle it.

  It felt wrong to let him get away with what he did and what he had been planning to do. Had he done it to other girls before me? Would he try it again with someone else? Someone more vulnerable than me? Someone who couldn’t defend herself? Someone who didn’t have a supportive pack behind her?

  I couldn’t forget what had happened but I wasn’t sure what I could do about it. The sheriff in this town was completely useless. Even if he did believe me, which was doubtful, he wouldn’t do anything about it. Human laws wouldn’t punish him or protect me. But pack law didn’t apply to him, he wasn’t a wolf. The laws that kept my kind safe from humans also prevented us from harming Mr. Reaven in revenge. What could I do to make sure he never harmed anyone again?

  I kept thinking it through while Kannon and I shopped and I kept looking over my shoulder. Kannon tried to get me to laugh a bunch of times, but the best I could manage was a weak smile. After we got home and dumped our groceries on the kitchen counter I collapsed into a chair like a limp rag that h
ad already been rung out. The constant anxiety was taking its toll on me.

  After a late dinner, all of us were ready for an early bedtime. I let the guys have the bathroom first, so when I came out ready for bed, the guys were already tucked in. I switched off the light and we said our good nights. I climbed into my bed, ready for another night of staring into the darkness when Kannon lifted up his blanket in invitation. I hesitated for a second, but after meeting his eyes I gave him a shy smile and slid underneath the covers with him.

  It was a snug fit because the beds were only a little longer than a standard twin, but Kannon laid on his side to make room for me and I snuggled up against him. He put an arm around me and for the first time in a while I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

  Chapter 9

  Lori

  I was dousing my freshly made chocolate chip waffles in strawberry syrup when Corey walked in the kitchen and frowned at the massive amount of sugar on my plate. “Are you sure you’re a wolf?” he asked sarcastically.

  I ignored him as Kannon set down the whipped cream next to me and then took a seat. “She had a couple pieces of bacon earlier,” Kannon defended me.

  Corey rolled his eyes and went to the fridge while I lathered on the whipped cream. Kannon watched with a grin as I happily took my first bite of the sugary treat. “Kannon, this is amazing,” I groaned. He dug into his own plate while Corey came back to the table with a glass of orange juice.

  I paused in shoveling my sugared up waffles into my mouth when Corey took a seat across from me. He tapped a finger on his glass and looked like he had something to voice.

  “What?” I asked curiously. Corey never held back from anything he wanted to say.

  “You, ahhh..” Corey swallowed and if I didn’t know him better, I would have thought he was nervous. “You still coming to the mall today?” he finished in a grumble as he avoided my eyes.

  “Yeah, of course,” I told him with a bright smile. “I’ve been looking forward to it.” As much as I dreaded a shopping trip to spend money that I knew we couldn’t afford, I did desperately need some new clothes for school.

  “Cool,” he grumbled. “I’m going to unload the car to make room for your stuff.”

  My eyebrows rose as he walked away. “Just how much stuff does he think I’m going to get?” I murmured to myself. Gray’s SUV had more than enough room for a couple of shopping bags.

  Kannon laughed. “He’s thinking of all the closets of the girls we used to hang out with.”

  I shrugged. “I just need some new jeans and maybe a couple t-shirts.”

  “And practice clothes for cross country,” Kannon reminded me. “And a hoodie, maybe a coat, and some sweaters for when it gets cold? Do you wear dresses?”

  I took another huge bite of my breakfast to avoid answering. I had always been so focused on surviving that I had never thought about what I wanted or what I liked. I wore loose jeans, baggy tees, and oversized hoodies to hide the shape of my body from the males in my old pack. I always kept my hair wrapped in a tight bun to avoid attention and never wore makeup or dresses.

  I kept chewing as Kannon looked at me expectantly. Maybe I would like a cute outfit like some of the girls wore to school. Could I be that type of girl? Start caring about what my hair looked like and if my mascara was smudged? A part of me envied girls like that. I wished my biggest problem in life was that my crush had seen me with messy hair.

  “I don’t think we can really afford all that,” I told Kannon quietly. “I’ll just get a couple things on sale.”

  “You’ll get what you need,” Grayson ordered as he stepped in the kitchen and handed me a credit card.

  I took it reluctantly. “I’ll go with you,” Kannon offered. “Make sure you find everything you need.”

  “Um,” I looked up at the doorway where Corey just appeared and saw disappointment flash through his eyes at Kannon’s offer before he went back to his usual scowl. “I think it would be cool if just Corey and I went.”

  Corey shrugged. “Whatever, I’m ready when you are.”

  “I’ll be out in a minute,” I told him with a smile. I could feel hurt radiating from Kannon and knew I needed some time to smooth things over. Once I was sure Corey was out of hearing range I turned to Kannon. “You know I would love to spend the day shopping with you, but I think Corey really needs this.”

  Kannon looked at me in surprise but nodded after a quick glance at Grayson. “Yeah, that’s fine. I wanted to work on my app today anyway.”

  He got up to clean up our breakfast dishes but I grabbed his hand. “Movie night tonight?” I got a grin in return and just like that, things were back to normal.

  I got up to clear my plate and Grayson gave me a nod of approval. I tried to hide the flush of warmth that gave me. So what if the big alpha wolf was proud of how I was handling the guys in the pack? I was a strong, independent female wolf.

  Kannon splashed some soapy water from the sink at me and I let out a surprised squeal. Being the mature wolf that I was, I completely resisted splashing him back or trying to grab the hose to squirt him with. Instead, I just gave him a kiss on the cheek and turned back to Grayson.

  “Be safe,” he told me with a smile. “I already gave Corey orders on the minimum the two of you should come back with.”

  “Thanks, Gray,” I hesitated, unsure of how to say goodbye. Kannon and I were comfortable with cheek kisses and tight hugs, but with Gray? I wasn’t sure.

  He solved the problem for me when he wrapped me up in a hug and gave me a kiss on the top of my head. “Have fun.”

  I walked outside with my heart lighter than I could remember in a long time. Going to a mall might seem like such a small, insignificant thing to most people. But for me? It represented a freedom that I’d never had before. I had a credit card in my pocket and the ability to buy what I wanted. I hopped up in the SUV with Corey and realized I might be more girly than I thought.

  Corey cleared his throat after starting the engine. “I thought we could go to Woodside. It’s a ninety-minute drive but they have a decent mall and other shit girls like.” I raised an eyebrow at him and he gave me a small grin. “Or so I’ve been told.”

  “Sounds good.” I knew Corey wasn’t going to make small talk with me for the drive so I leaned forward to mess with the radio. I stopped on a Nirvana song after flipping through a bunch of channels. “You good with this?”

  “Yeah,” Corey answered. I knew he was into alternative rock because of the types of songs he would ask Kannon to download for his phone. I leaned back in my seat. Most of what I knew about Corey was from the other guys and I realized that might have given me a skewed perception of who Corey really was.

  I peeked over at him out of the corner of my eye as a Twenty One Pilot’s song came on next. Corey had his hair styled in his usual faux hawk and all of his piercings in. The visual reminders of how different they were made me wonder what made him so opposite from his twin. “Do you sing?” Corey asked.

  “I like to sing, but that doesn’t mean that other people like to hear it,” I said with a laugh.

  Corey flashed a grin at me and my heart stuttered. “Take the chorus, let’s see what you got.”

  I started off shyly singing the chorus to Heavy Dirty Soul, but then said fuck it. It’s just me and Corey here and he can laugh if he wants to. I started actually singing, putting my heart into it, and Corey joined in. I was surprised to hear that he had a really great voice, smoky and warm. Our voices blended together in harmony and my heart soared with the words. It was nice to be able to let go completely.

  At this moment, it was just Corey and me, our voices melding together and telling a story that we could never speak aloud to anyone. Savior by Rise Against came on next and we harmonized and traded off different parts. Corey met my eyes as he stopped at a light and I could see the emotion in his eyes that bled out into his voice. The two of us might not be able to talk about our problems, but this was a different way of getting them out.
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br />   I felt a deeper connection with Corey. The events of our lives and the circumstances that brought us here to this moment were vastly different, but we shared similar scars. Corey handed over his phone as he got on the ramp to the highway. “Plug this into the aux cable. I have a playlist on there I think you’ll like.”

  Corey and I didn’t speak for the rest of the drive but we did lose ourselves in the music. When we finally pulled into the parking lot of the mall my voice was scratchy and my throat a little sore, but I felt more relaxed than I had in a while. I had sung, screamed, and shouted out all of my emotions using the songs on Corey’s playlist and he had done the same. I hadn’t held back or been too afraid to expose myself completely. We were both raw and stripped down after our music session.

  Corey let out a breath and leaned back in the seat as he turned the car off. I closed my eyes and took a moment to pull myself back together. “Ready?” he asked gently.

  I rolled my head in his direction, glad he wasn’t going to ask me if I wanted to talk about it. “Yup.” And that was the end of the discussion.

  I grabbed Corey’s hand as we walked across the parking lot. He looked down at our joined hands and then over at me as if searching for something. I gave him a tentative smile and that seemed like enough of an explanation for him because he simply nodded and opened the door for me.

  As it turns out, Corey was just as terrible a shopper as I was. We stood in the junior’s section of a department store and just looked around as if we had been dropped on an alien planet. Pop music blared from the speaker over our heads and the mannequins arrogantly looked down on us while wearing skimpy clothes. There weren’t any hoodies in sight.

  “Hello!” a cheery voice called out to us. I turned to see a dark haired girl gliding over to us. She was tall, slender, and dressed fashionably edgy. I stepped a little closer to Corey when she came over, realizing that if Corey had a type, this would probably be it. She had multiple piercings in her ears in addition to her eyebrow and belly button. She was dressed all in black, like Corey, but her dark eyeliner, skinny jeans, and crop-top was all hot chick.